The Ongoing Saga of my Life

So Thanksgiving went really well for me. I joined my Chosky at his family's holiday lunch. I was incredibly nervous before we got there because it would be my first time meeting his extended family. As soon as we got there, I realized how silly I was being in my nervousness. Of course he comes from a good southern family, the type to welcome anyone as long as they have an empty stomach and a smile on their face. His grandmother was so cute in her insistance to get me a jacket and us games to play. She wouldn't take no for an answer ^.^ And of course the meal itself was tasty! I lucked out and they decided to do a cajun shrimp boil, and the sides were for the most part easy to pick meat out of. I just love family get togethers where the food is all homecooked and the desserts outnumber the main course dishes. I'm so thankful (to be in the spirit of the holiday) that my Chosky invited me along.

Also, I am happy to announce that his parents like me now! I'm not really sure what happened to make the change, but I am very glad for it. I was trying my hardest during the camping trip (I went camping with them a couple of weeks ago) to be helpful and polite because it was the first time I had really spent a long period of time with his parents.

Other than that, things have been pretty normal with classes and friends and such. I've just been super lazy >.

Just in case anyone missed it, yesterday was my 21st birthday. I had one amazing party too. I just had some of my closest friends over for a few drinks seeing that my birthday fell in the middle of the week. I didn't really want a huge party anyways. I kind of realized that my different groups of friends wouldn't reall get along well, plus my apartment being small gave me a good excuse to only have a small party. Maybe later I will hit up EC on a drink and drown night with some friends because I have yet to buy alcohol, or even drink in a public setting. Oh well. Its not like I have to rush lol.

Anyways, I think I remember most of what happened last night. I know I drank far more than I have in a long time, but I managed to keep off a bad hangover. I was just slightly sluggish, but after some foodage and a shower I felt much better. My apartment is a mess, and it looks like a more wild party happened here than actually occured. My poor inflatable llama is in the middle of my living room as well as a length of chain and some handcuffs. My coffee table and kitchen table are covered in empty glasses, beer bottles, and pizza boxes. I got some tasty spiced rum and Blue Moon too, which somehow managed to survive the entire night lol. All in all the party was pretty much amazing and I am very happy. I don't think anything too naughty happened and everyone seemed to have fun ^.^


"Oh, pour me a slug of it
Throw me a mug of it
Bring me a jug of that Famous Ol' Spiced"
-Alestorm

I haven't updated in a long time, so lots has been going on. All good things too. And a lot of thinking, although the thinking has been about good things. This past weekend I went camping with my Chosky and his church group. I had so much fun! I managed to find a few like-minded girls who wanted to tent camp with me, so I had a tent to stay in instead of the camper. It was only slightly awkward for me when they started talking about their religion, but as always, they were nothing but nice to me. I thoroughly enjoy hanging out with them. In the a couple of the girls and I walked down to the beach and greeted the mornings. I haven't felt so awestruck in a long time. They took it as a religious experience, and I must say it moved me spiritually as well. I am so lucky to have met these people, even if I am not of their same religion. I haven't met such happy people in a long time (I'm not saying that my own friends aren't happy btw, this is just an epic level of happiness >.< ).

Stolen from Brel ^.^

You can learn a lot about someone by the music they listen to. So here is the game! Hit shuffle on your iPod or mp3 player and write down the first 25 songs. No cheating or skipping songs that are shameful. That is the fun! Then tag your friends.

1. Lunchbox- Marilyn Manson

2. Underneath It All- No Doubt

3. I Have a Dream- Mamma Mia! Soundtrack

4. When You're Evil- Voltaire

5. Temples of Gold- Kamelot

6. Rats in the City- The Virus

7. Class War- The Exploited

8. Doomsday Clock- The Smashing Pumpkins

9. Boss Battle- Koji Kondo (yes... LoZ Soundtrack >.< )

10. Sin Wagon- Dixie Chicks

11. Half Jack- The Dresden Dolls

12. Combat- Flobots

13. Behind the Curtain- Dan Potthast

14. Miles Away- Goldfinger

15. I Need You to Love Me- Barlow Girl

16. Father Time- Stratovarius

17. Horror Bull- Jay Tea

18. Fly Like the Wind- Imperia

19. Look at Me Now- Nightcore

20. Photographic- Freezepop

21. What I Always Wanted- Kittie

22. Sacrament of Wilderness- Nightwish

23. Pussy- Lords of Acid

24. Dota- Basshunter

25. Airwave Raid -Lower Class Brats



also I'm not tagging anyone, so do it if you want :P

So my classes have been kicking my butt recently.  They are incredibly enjoyable, however they entail a lot of reading that I am having a difficult time keeping up with.  I know I should have expected it when I decided to switch my major to English, but I guess I underestimated the amount of reading.  Writing too!  I've had a few papers already due and we are only a few weeks into classes.  I don't remember if I mentioned it in a previous journal, but I was very nervous about my Fiction Writing class.  I still am intimidated by the other students in there, but I am thoroughly enjoying using my creativity in a new way.  Some of you may remember the story I used to post; I haven't forgotten about it.  I am hoping to go back to it someday and finish it, after revising the original beginning with some things I have learned from this class.  Until then I may or may not post some of the short stories I write for class here, but if I feel like they are decent enough to share, they will definitely be up on my deviantart account.  I am a little dissatisfied with my Spanish 2 class.  After Spanish 1, I was excited about continuing with Spanish, and I was hoping to (re)learn a lot.  Unfortunately I do not feel like I am learning.  The professor talks to us in completely in English, unlike other professors who would say something first in Spanish and then repeat it in English so the students would become accustomed to hearing the language.  The classes are unproductive, and often I feel like my time would be better spent at home watching Spanish TV or studying from the book on my own.  Hopefully this is just how the class is for the first few weeks...

In other news, I saw 9 over the weekend.  I went in hoping for so much, but also slightly nervous because the last movie I saw that Tim Burton had a hand in was Coraline and I had mixed feelings about that after I watched it.  It turns out that I have the same feelings about 9.  If you haven't seen the movie, I would still suggest seeing it, because it was very good, but certain parts seemed out of place to me.  If you take out those parts I thought did not fit with the feel of the movie, it would have been absolutely amazing.  I felt this same way about Coraline.  However, I loved the character designs and the creepiness that is very similar to movies Tim Burton played a larger part in.

I am no longer single!




that is all.




^.^

There has been a lot going on in the relationship department as of late...  I am still technically single, but I am not going to be accepting advances of anyone outside of a certain Chosky.  ^.=.^   We kind of talked about it last night and I feel a lot better about us.

Also I am slightly bothered by the sudden amount of women interested in me.  I mean I know I have short hair now, and I have a lot of piercings, but still...  It doesn't so much bother me when the girl doesn't really know me or my friends, but when she does, its weird and bothersome that she would not ask a friend about my sexuality.  I have a very diverse group of friends so I always thought it was normal to do a little work and ask about someone's sexual preferences before making advances on them. 

It also doesn't help when your best friend tells you that you fit the stereotype of a lesbian.  As much as I hate to admit it, how I appear to others is a big thing to me... I want to have a cute and spunky look...

On a totally unrelated topic, Unicorn Doggy's friend from England is in town.  Its pretty awesome to meet someone that he was good friends with while he was living in Germany.  I always hear about the crazy stories of that time in his life so I am super excited to actually meet one of the people he talks about.   Its so interesting to hear about the culture differences from him, and listen to the different way of talking.  It sometimes makes me feel like an uneducated American, but at the same time I realize how much more worldly I am than many other people from this country. 

On another totally unrelated topic, I GET MY NEW APARTMENT FRIDAY.  that is all ^.^
 

In recent weeks I have had a sudden spark of spirituality. Now those of you who know me well know that I am pretty much lacking in any religious beliefs whatsoever. It's not that I am a hardcore Atheist and deny any possibility of a god at all, it is just that I have failed as of yet to find a religion that fits my worldview. I am open to listening to others' beliefs, and in fact, I love listening. I'm not too keen on having people yelling at me that I am going to Hell, but if you are respectful about informing me about your beliefs, by all means, please inform me. I respect you; I respect the fact that you want to share your inner peace with the world, but please also respect me if I do not feel that your religion is the right one for me.




"I believe that I'm not sure what to believe and I believe I should stop believing what other people believe because I don't believe that works." -Tryp

So the first day of classes was today.  I think I am going to enjoy them.  Although I am a little bit intimidated by my fiction writing class...  I'm not a writer... but the professor is pretty awesome and she seems to understand that not everyone in there has written fiction, so I should do fine.  I have my first assignment due Wednesday in there, and its a short story.  I have a few ideas, but I should do the reading before I give it too much thought.  My History of English Lit class should be a breeze though.  It seems to be just a lot of reading and a few short essays.  Nothing I can't handle.  Critical Methods however, will push me pretty hard.  The professor seems pretty cool, but the course itself will be demanding.  Lots of writing and reading.  But I should realize by now that I will always has a ton of writing and reading as an english major >.< 

I ran into a friend who went to England all of last semester.  That was pretty awesome.  I hadn't really had the chance to really talk to him before, but we spent a few hours talking between classes today.  Maybe I will run into him more during the semester.  I also have to remember to give him back his makeup book I borrowed for my stage makeup class last year...

I'm also super excited about the possibility of going to MFM!  I only wish I could have my dragon tail done by then, but I'm sure I can borrow Lion's husky tail...  Maybe I'll pick up a tail there of my own... and get a pretty badge of Melde too ^.^

Once again my life has been busy.  Just when I think I can finally relax, I have more stuff to do, or people to see.  I'm not complaining though, I just would like me time someday.

All of my friends who went home for the summer are back finally!  I was super excited to see them after hanging out with the same people all summer (although I'm worried that I haven't been hanging out with that group enough lately >.< ).  I hung out with Lion a lot in the past couple of days, and indroduced him to my closest fur friends.  I think they all get along well, although I apparently pissed off Butter again because I jokingly used my sexuality to try to get him to do something lol.  I awkwardly ran into someone at the mall yesterday too >.<  Luckily I was in a group of people who didn't stop at the place he was working at.  It was still weird though.  I hung out with Chosky last night too.  That was a lot of fun, but I'm still trying to figure out what is going on in his mind.

I'm now also trying to repack all my crap that I unpacked when I moved in with MaryK at her grandparent's house.  I need to get everything out before classes start so I'm not all the way out here having to drive to campus. 

My living situation is looking brighter too.  Vivi has offered for me to live with her and her boyfriend!  They are pretty amazing people.  I talked to Vivi more about it a couple of days ago, and it seem like it is going to ba definate thing ^.^  She has already looked at some apartments, but I'm hoping to go with her next time she goes.  I'm excited!

On the negative side, Fence has been saying that I owe her money for the power bill or something rediculous.  I'm quite sure that I don't owe her anything, especially since she never gave me my deposit for the apartment back when I moved out.  But whatever.  I wasn't going to give her anything since she never told me directly (she emailed my mom, and then told a mutual friend to tell me), and I already gave her some money for bills when I moved out.  On the flip side, she has some mail that I need to get, so I guess I'll just have this mutual friend bring me the mail and I'll give him the check to give to her.  I'm just so sick of her bullshit.  I don't even care anymore, I just don't want any ties to her.  After I get this mail, I should be able to finish changing addresses around so nothing will be going there, and I shouldn't have to ever see her again. 

Well my time in Tampa and Ft. Pierce has been pretty fun.  I got into Tampa Thursday evening and got to see my brother, Isabella (don't ask about the nickname... i don't even remember anymore), and then went out with the family for a nice dinner at Mellow Mushroom.  It was way fun, although my brother can be a douche sometimes.  Him and I went out to Starbucks after dinner to meet up with some of his friends.  I didn't stay with them long.  I don't really care too much for him and his friends when they are together.  One on one, they are pretty cool, but together they are full of inside jokes and pretty much ignore me.  Although I'm sure to an outsider my friends and I are the same way though. 

Friday, Lion and his friend Wadger came into Tampa to see a couple of furs we met at Metrocon.  I was excited to see them, and I got to talk to Kilynn about materials for my fursuit that I'll be making this fall.  We all went and got lunch together and had a nice time being nerds.  Then off to pick up Glowstick and then to drop me off at my dad's again.  I was glad to see Glowstick again before classes start.  Her and I really need to get together more, even though we are pretty far away from each other.  Then it was off to Ft. Pierce for me.  After the dull and rainy drive, we meet up with my Aunt and Uncle from South Carolina and have some dinner.  Then off to the hotel for some much needed sleep.

Saturday was the day of the big retirement party for my Aunt in Ft. Pierce.  I spent the day helping everyone get things organized and set up, and getting a lot of questions and jokes about my new look.  It was nice to see all of my family.  I hadn't seen most of them in over two years.  Finally it was time for the party.  It was an open bar, so I got a little too drunk.  I did manage to have a pretty decent conversation with one of my cousins, who is kind of the "black sheep" of the family.  I feel bad for him; he is such a nice guy, and has a sweet family, but for some reason everyone else in the family thinks badly of them. 

This morning I woke up incredibly hung over, and I don't really remember getting back to my cousins where I spent the night.  I felt bad getting sick because it was my aunt's night, not mine, but these thing happen.  Especially since I wasn't making my drinks, and I didnt have my usual "bartender" friend making them to my level of tolerance.  After some Gatorade, more sleep, and food, I was ready to make the journey back to Tampa.  I'm not looking forward to the drive back to Pensacola tomorrow morning though.



Also, I'm hoping to get my living situation worked out in the next couple of weeks!  I got a text from Vivi about possibly living with her and her boyfriend.  I'm super excited!  I need to talk to her more about it when I get back to Pensacola, but I think this will work out! 

Things definately have a way of changing fast.  One second I am happy and content with how things are progressing in my life, and the next it is like a tornado rips through the calm.  Sometimes I just don't know what to think anymore.  People I've known for a long time suddenly become close, or drift away.  I tend to try to force things that I know I should just let happen, and completely forget about others until it is too late. 


"Some people weave burlap into the fabric of our lives, and some weave gold thread. Both contribute to make the whole picture beautiful and unique."  -Anonymous

It has been a very interesting week for me so far.  Especially on the relationship level.  I hope everything works out so that this thing that I have with Chosky grows into a relationship, because I do like him quite a bit.  We have been hanging out or talking on the phone every day since he got home, and it seems like he feels the same way about me.  Right now we are in the "talking and seeing if a relationship would work" stage, and right now I see really only one issue, and that's our differing religions.  He comes from a strong Christian family, and well, I don't really have a religion.  I don't see this as much of an issue on my end, because those of you who know me well, know that I don't really care what beliefs you have, as long as you are a good person (Note: one of my best friends from high school is very religious).  But I do know his mom only wants him to date a Christian girl...  I'm hoping that he doesn't let what his mom wants weigh to heavily on whether we have a relationship or not, and I really don't think he will, especially with how accepting I am of most anything.  But my beliefs are one thing that I cannot change for anyone, even if I may not be outspoken about them.

So most of my stuff is moved out of my old apartment, and tomorrow the rest (the big stuff) is going, cause the boys came back with the van.  I can't wait to be done with that whole apartment.  Ugh.  I really don't want anything else to do with it, but I have just a day or two left until I really am done with it.


Also, I am very very happy.

The packing is getting done, although very slowly...  My room is mostly taken care of, just some little things I'll throw into a box.  The kitchen is about half done...  I think I'll pick up some big garbage bags for my tupperware and other plastic things.  The bathroom has a few things left, mainly my shower curtain and rug though.  And now I'm sitting outside and have just realized that I have folding tables and stuff out here that needs to go too...  Hopefully I won't forget anything...  Its going to be a madhouse here on Thursday when I can finally start moving things out of the apartment... Then Saturday or Sunday is going to be another crazy day to finish moving my small stuff and then the big three (bed, futon, dresser) which I hopefully will be able to enlist some strong guys and their trucks to help me.  If not, then it is off to uhaul to get a small truck >.<

I'm excited to move in with MaryK, although I'm not too happy about being so far away...  But then again it will only be for a few weeks.  And I'll be closer to Stardust so her and I can hang out more often!  And that means pool, pool, and puppies!!  And of course hanging out with one of my best friends ^.^

So I think I finally got my living situation figured out.  MaryK's grandparents are going out of town for August, so I'll be staying with her at their house this coming month.  I'll be moving my stuff around (to her house, Stardust's house, and Unicorn Doggy's apartment) this week, so all I will have here is my futon, bed, and dresser at least until MaryK and the Alcoholic get their apartment.  Then the rest of my big stuff is living with them until I get settled permanently with Stardust.  Hopefully she will have her stuff worked out by the time I need to move out of MaryK's house.

I plan on packing all day tomorrow and figuring out what I'll be moving when.  Then it is off to the AT&T store to deal with my cellphone, which I currently want to smash against a wall. 

Sometimes there comes along a guy who you can't help but to giggle at his awkwardness.  I feel bad about laughing about it, but it's soooooo awkward.  I mean, I know I was just complaining about being single a few entries ago, but I know I don't want someone as obsessive as this guy.  (for all my readers, this is not the guy from my date).  I won't go into details about what this guy said to me, but let's just say that it way boosted my self image, but that was about it.  Other than that it was just an awkward plea of neediness. 


Also, I hopefully found a place to live.  Well, not so much a permanent solution... but the date I need a place to live by is now pushed back to September, which helps me out a lot.  I'll be house sitting for a month with MaryK about 20/30 min outside of Pcola.  Hopefully by the time I have to leave there Stardust will be employed so we can get our place.


Also also, I am in need of a scanner to update my deviantart and fur affinity pages >.<

So this weekend was a BLAST!  I hung out with Stardust and Vivi all weekend watching movies, swimming, drinking, and doing other girl's weekend things.  Nothing like "Harry Potter and the Order of the Drunkeness" to make your weekend complete.  Warning: Harry Potter drinking games= amazinly bad idea >.<   the rules were insane (drink whenever Hermione raises her hand in class, whenever someone says "Mudblood", whenever you're introduced to a new character, etc). 

Also, we watched The Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood.  OMG amazing movie!  Apparently I'm Teensy, for those of you who have seen it.  We are such dorks, but all of us are one of the sisters.  I have the awesome car though lol.  Hot Cha Cha!

Also, the biggest news.  I HAVE A DATE.  That's right!  I'm soooo excited, but also incredibly nervous that I'll somehow screw things up.  Cause I asked him on the date, so I'm not sure if he likes me back, but I have heard that maybe he does >.>   So we will have to see ^.^  But in any case...  eeeeee!!!


Also, to make my icon make sense.  "Buffy staked Edward.  The End"


Also,  I like the word "also"

I've decided to post all of the webcomics I read.  Don't judge me >.<

 

( Webcomic-y Goodness )

In case you don't feel like reading my rant here's the tl;dr version:  I'm single and it makes me sad sometimes



So I've been feeling a little down lately.  Nothing anyone did, I just feel crappy.  Like incredibly single...  I mean I don't really know why I'm complaining, but sometimes I just get so lonely.  I know I have my wonderful friends who are always there for me, but they can't cuddle or hold me at night.  It's never usually an issue, and I never usually feel so single, but recently I have been hanging out with a bunch of people and their significant others, where I am the only single one there.  Even that doesn't bother me, until they start getting all flirty or cuddly... Then its just awkward for me...  Unicorn Doggy and Stardust have never bothered me like that when its just the three of us, but just add one more couple and that feeling starts.  I mean I'm kinda glad I'm single because I don't have that one extra thing going on in my life, and I have nothing holding me back from anything I want to do, but a significant other shouldn't do that anyways.  I guess my single-ness is weighing on me more and more because I am meeting/ know a few guys that I am attracted to, but there is always something that is keeping me from them... Whether they are taken, or aren't interested in women, or I just epically fail at flirting...  I know I should just calm down and wait, because "the perfect guy is out there" or "any guy would be lucky to have you, they just have to open their eyes".  Yeah, I know.  It still doesn't make me feel any better.  I wonder if I'm ugly, or if guys are intimidated by my appearance (with the mohawk and piercings), and I wonder if my like of these things makes me look bad...  No one noticed me when I had long hair, and now I show people pictures of my old hair and they said I was gorgous.  Where were these guys before I cut my hair?  Granted I love my mohawk, and I'm glad I did it, but still.  I can't help but wonder though.